456789ever dwelling in the past

sometimes i am still the one living the past and yet my present self is cranked so off from it and i am still triggered by certain sensational mediators that fixate me to the past be they melodies or smells or sights and i don’t know what to do.
sometimes i feel my physical body has come too far to experience the tenderness again but reliving the moments is not so impossible because although i am not as much fond of my present self as my past one, i am made of a bunch of different nostalgia residues after all!
so my sense of time has been and always will be incomplete and immature and will forever stay that way.

ritualized memorial service, 2015

and just so you know i still have so much love for myself no matter what

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